I often think of my sister, and it makes me sad. Don't get me wrong, I love her with all my heart, but she has suffered in this life we live. What's worse though, is that I feel that no one else sees the side of her that suffers in silence. I look over, and my dear little Anne is curled over her books or entertaining someone with her exaggerated conversation. The others in the Secret Annex see her as a source of amusement or cruel distraction far too often, and I fear Peter, despite his quiet demeanor, is the same as them. If only I could protect her... but instead I am too weak to stand up for her, and make our parents take notice.
However, she is strong of will, and even though I wish I could do something for my dear sister, she is more a friend then a younger sibling I can protect. Despite our age difference, we get along quite well, especially since we are the only young girls here. Alas, it is hard to confide in her, for we have always been too close to each other; not emotionally, but in proximity.
These thoughts, though always present, have been brought forth by my sister's recent distance from me and growing affection for Peter. She expressed her worry of jealousy on my part or other troubling feelings, but I am fine. Anne though, I do worry for. What if things go wrong? Father has already been upset as a consequence of this friendship, and being in such close quarters with everyone means a terrible possible fallout should they start to quarrel. I can already imagine Mrs. van Daan's harsh words and my family's indignation. Sometimes it feels like I spend all my time worrying for others.
It's been expressed to me that I'm seen as kind and selfless, if a little weak willed. I cannot argue these observations, but it faintly bothers me how everyone can see I have trouble speaking my thoughts, let alone forcing my ideas; even though I have many. Perhaps, I'll find spending all this time with Anne lent me some of her gusto, once we exit the Secret Annex. Until we do though, I'll avidly watch my sister and the continuing relationship between her and Peter.
However, she is strong of will, and even though I wish I could do something for my dear sister, she is more a friend then a younger sibling I can protect. Despite our age difference, we get along quite well, especially since we are the only young girls here. Alas, it is hard to confide in her, for we have always been too close to each other; not emotionally, but in proximity.
These thoughts, though always present, have been brought forth by my sister's recent distance from me and growing affection for Peter. She expressed her worry of jealousy on my part or other troubling feelings, but I am fine. Anne though, I do worry for. What if things go wrong? Father has already been upset as a consequence of this friendship, and being in such close quarters with everyone means a terrible possible fallout should they start to quarrel. I can already imagine Mrs. van Daan's harsh words and my family's indignation. Sometimes it feels like I spend all my time worrying for others.
It's been expressed to me that I'm seen as kind and selfless, if a little weak willed. I cannot argue these observations, but it faintly bothers me how everyone can see I have trouble speaking my thoughts, let alone forcing my ideas; even though I have many. Perhaps, I'll find spending all this time with Anne lent me some of her gusto, once we exit the Secret Annex. Until we do though, I'll avidly watch my sister and the continuing relationship between her and Peter.